Monday, July 26, 2010

Mawwiage! Twue wuv!

What you are about to read is fanfiction. Based on a blog post. About a pair of fictional alter-egos. Of the two famous bloggers, Jen and Diana, of
Not the craziest thing I've ever done. But getting up there.

Jan and Diane are BFFs who have awesome lives and are basically perfect. Yet even for them, finding their Mr. Rights wasn't easy. Busy professionals making oodles of money don't have time to meet guys! So Jan and Diane turned to modern technology to help them out. Yes, they used... the Internet!

Jan: Online dating is perfectly fine nowadays.
Diane: Everyone's doing it.

So Jan and Diane posted a personal ad (together, like they do everything else!).

Diane: At e"CharmMoney".com!
Jan: Oh, you! [giggles]

At first, the results were disappointing.

Jan: I mean, the guys were cute.
Both: Of course!
Diane: But they had issues. Like, you absolutely could not touch Giorgio's hair, or he would freak.
Jan: And why was Carl always looking for phone booths, anyway?

Diane: Then there were those two guys who said they were in LXD.
Jan: As if!

Diane: Although they were very limber.
[Both giggle]

Jan: And Rico?
Diane: Ugh! He was so not a Rico. More of a Little Richard, if you know what I mean.
Jan [gasps]: Oh, naughty!
Diane: I'm kidding!

Diane: And Rico's friend, Wally?
Jan: Oh, yeah, "Wacky" Wally.
Remember? 'Heeeerrrre's Wally!'
Jan [shudders]

Our stalwart pair were beginning to get a bit discouraged. Would Jan and Diane ever find true love?

Diane: There was that one week in Barbados.
Jan: Oooo, Paoloooo.
Diane: And Ferrrrrnando.
Jan: The ones you don't take home to Mother.
Both: Mmm-mmm-mmm.

Still searching for true love, they rewrote their personal ad and tried again.
And by
an amazing coincidence--or was it fate?--that very day looking at the online dating site for the very first time were a pair of successful young businessmen named Ken and Donny.

Just like Jan and Diane, Ken and Donny were busy professionals making oodles of money. Just like Jan and Diane, Ken and Donny didn't have time to meet girls. Just like Jan and Diane, Ken and Donny did everything together. Even "surfing" the "Web"!

Imagine their reaction when they saw Jan and Diane's personal ad. They had so much in common! It was a perfect match.

Even though they were handsome, successful young businessmen, they were still a teensy bit nervous the first time they called Jan and Diane.

But soon they realized it was true love!

Diane: Donny's so much fun. He's got his own sense of style, as you can see! And he's in great shape. He loves soccer.
Jan: Really loves soccer. Really.
Diane: In fact, his goal is to start his own sporting goods company some day.
Jan: I hope he has better luck with that "goal" than he does on the soccer field.
Diane: ...What?

Jan: Ken's more serious. He's focused on keeping up with emerging business trends and all the latest financials.
Diane: Very focused.
Jan: And, no, he is not a Web addict!
Diane: Just don't try to come between him and his laptop.

After a whirlwind courtship, and with the blessing of their families, Ken and Jan and Donny and Diane got married in a lavish yet tasteful ceremony.

Ahem. A
tasteful ceremony.

And they all lived happily ever after.


Diane: No more Fernandos.
Both: [sigh]
Jan: On the other hand, no more Wallies.
Diane: True dat.
Jan: ...What?

With apologies to Jen and Diana of, and to all the photographers and models seen in this post--especially Rico and Wally (I'm sure you're really very nice people).

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